April 2, 2009 8:01 pm

April Fools Strikes Back: Guest Blogger Tom Milnes

Although April Fools Day is accepted as an annual affliction aimed at the most gullible among us in most every sector, I would have hoped that the young and perhaps the young at heart would be spared, but sadly that was not to be in ‘09. Case in point, the item that came up for sale yesterday on ThinkGeek.com, the Tauntuan sleeping bag.



Hawked under the header, “Slumber in the Belly of the Beast,” the official phony sleeping bag of the rebel forces entrenched on the Ice Planet Hoth was described as follows:





In the sub-zero wasteland of the planet Hoth, only the strong survive… and of course those lucky Jedi protected by the thick skin of a Tauntaun. Now after exhaustive movie viewing research and analysis ThinkGeek Labs has isolated the exact synthetic compounds needed to re-create Tauntaun fur. What have we done with this supreme knowledge? Created a Tauntaun sleeping bag of course. 

This high-quality sleeping bag looks just like a Tauntaun, complete with saddle, internal intestines and glowing lightsaber zipper pull. Now when your kids tell you their favorite Star Wars movie is “Attack of the Clones” you can nestle the wee-ones snug in simulated Tauntaun fur while regaling them with the amazing tale of “Empire Strikes Back”.



Use the glowing lightsaber zipper pull on the Tauntaun sleeping bag to illustrate how Han Solo saved Luke Skywalker from certain death in the freezing climate of Hoth by slitting open the belly of a dead Tauntaun and placing Luke inside the stinking (but warm) carcass. If your kids don’t change their tune on which Star Wars film is the greatest ever, you can do your best Jar Jar impression until they repent.

Product Features



• Classic Star Wars sleeping bag simulates the warmth of a Tauntaun carcass 
• Built-in embroidered Tauntaun head pillow 
• Glowing Lightsaber zipper pull 
• Great for playing pretend “Save Luke from the Wampa” games 
• Teach your children about the best Star Wars movie ever 
• Fully Licensed Lucasfilm™ Collectable 
• Fits children (and small adults) 
• 100% Polyester construction, Machine washable 
• Exterior Dimensions - 32″ x 60″










Ummm, can you say “AWESOME?” I’d buy one of thesetwo of these in a heartbeat. One for my nephew who has yet to get past or get over Darth Vader theme in episode IV and one for myself, just because I know what comes next. I’d never fit into it, but I’d own it proudly all the same. The funny thing is that I’m positive that I wouldn’t be the only one hitting ThinkGeek’s site if this ever got made for real. Let’s see… anyone out there happen to have an open channel to George Lucas? If so, send him the link.



–Tom Milnes